All my dreams came true last week, my first printed shoot was released, the window I designed for Sportsgirl was finally put up and my The Vine look of the week received an amazing reception. However somehow I ended up in a severe depressive episode, something that hasn't happened for a long time. I should be happy but instead I feel like crawling up in bed and never leaving it. The thought of socialising, returning emails and taking on new work leaves me in tears. I'm slowly feeling better. I feel really guilty for feeling this way too, there is no reason. Everything is going so right, but that in turn is causing me so much anxiety, what if it all turns to shit? When people say they loved something I did it makes me want to never do anything ever again in case they hate the new thing. Maybe everyone feels like this when things go right? I also get stressed when I think that I'm known only as a blogger and not as a stylist. I know my blog came first and is what has opened up all the doors for me, but its not exactly a job now is it. Anyway like I said I'm feeling better now, getting excited for LMFF and all the great events to attend, forcing myself out of this funk. Refreshingly honest or too much information? You decide.
My Sportsgirl Window on Chapel Street. This was very exciting to be asked to do, as last year when I was studying (which I have left btw, I'm too busy working) we did a project on Sportsgirls innovative VM in their windows. I never would have guessed that less than a year later I would actually design a window for them. Talk about dream come true. The brief was my blog "in the spotlight" so I thought about what my blog and me are known for: Tokyo, street fashion photography and styling. I pulled together some images and concept drawings and had a few meetings with their VM team. I wanted a hanami party scene (sakura cherry blossom viewing picnic) with some of my street photos as the picnic participants. Originally I thought perhaps I could style some people in Sportsgirls clothes then take street photos of them, but the VM team really liked my Tokyo street photos which I also had as an option. So that is how it developed. Seeing life size photos of my friends from Tokyo in a Sportsgirl window, one of which was taken at my wedding, is surreal to say the least. Maya is the girl on the very left, and next to her is Yuki, both of whom are from Spank and I count them as good friends. The other two girls I don't even know, ha (yes the girl with the flowers in her hair came to my wedding but I have no clue who she is really). Maya and Yuki's boss and my good friend, Tabuchi, who runs the Spank stores has blogged about the window. She thinks its so cool and that is is like "Spank terrorism" Spank is taking over the world, haha. If they saw it in person they may be surprised to find their "life size" cut outs are about 10cm taller than they are too, hahaha.
My first printed shoot is in the latest issue of Fashion Journal. Styling Miami Horror in a "where the wild things are" themed shoot was a lot of fun, but is different from styling a fashion editorial. A band has a fair bit of say in how they look, but lucky for me we are on the same wave length. I wanted them to look like a nomadic tribe, a little dark but still with playful elements. Capes were the order of the day as they conjure up images of superheroes and childhood heroes, just like the ones Max imagines in the book/movie. I'm so proud of this shoot, I think it turned out really well. Oh and when I picked up my copy of Fashion Journal Miami Horror's song Sometimes came on in the store, talk about a surreal moment. You can pick up Fashion Journal in your usual places but its also available to read online.
Photographer: Elvina Mae
Stylist: Me
Styling Assistant: Angela Sterchele
I would like to thank Kirrily Johnston, Trimapee, Thom Finch, Comeback Kid, Illex Kinni, Provocator and Linda Black for their amazing clothes, shoes and accessories.
My newest "Look of the week" is up at The Vine. They come out every Thursday so remember to check the site that day to see what I've come up with. I've had so many people email to say they love my work for it, which has been great. I am really proud of it as I take all the photos and do all the styling/sourcing every week. I do try and do a bunch in bulk every few weeks, but then there is the editing, writing and posting. Its a pretty intensive project but one that gives me so much satisfaction. I'm wanting to bring it out of the studio and onto the street and make it more editorial like, but as I tend to shoot 3 looks per week and do 6 weeks in 1 day, its a bit too time consuming without that stable studio environment. Who knows how it may develop. I'm really excited about this coming weeks look, can't wait to share it all with you.
it's probably hard to hear when your feeling like this but you are so inspiring and i follow your blog religiously. you're extremely lucky to have such wonderful opportunities - one's i will only ever dream of! keep up the great work x
ReplyDeleteI've never been inclined to comment before after reading your blog for...well...FOREVER! but just want to say congratulations, you are such a talented individual, I've always loved your blog due to the fact you use it to talk about the styling work you do, giving us readers a great little insight into the world of fashion, which is such a great advantage you have over other fashion blogs. the only way from here, is up! :)
ReplyDeleteThats SO COOL Hayley! You have absoutely no reason at all to feel depressive, your dreams are comming true so quickly and i bet that in no time you'll have accomplished alot more! So congratilations for all of these it looks amazing and you did a very very nice job!
ReplyDeleteHave fun ;D
kiss kiss,
Gon from dimogonda blog
Wow...congratulations on all your recent success and I hope you feel better soon. Maybe you're just a little overwhelmed? Anyway...you're a bit of an inspiration so I thank you.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.intotheninth.blogspot.com
woah, the sportgirl window is adorable. you should be proud girl, what you've done is amazing- and I'm certain what you do next will be too! xx
ReplyDeleteI really love the photo shoot it looks amazing, you should be really proud of yourself. I think we all have these type of "funks" at some time or another and i find it refreshingly honest for you to talk about it on your blog. Keep up the amazing work and i hope you feel like your old self soon.
ReplyDeleteagreed.
ReplyDeleteyou've earned so many amazing opportunities, things that aren't just given to anybody, so the advice I would give you is to trust yourself, because you are obviously amazing at what you do.
Love the Miami Horror styling by the way!!
Unfortunately I think most creatives go through this kind of thing, especially if you are a perfectionist, you also put your heart and soul into your projects and when they are finished then the anxiety to come up with the next great thing is always there. Try not to be so hard on yourself, just look at what you have achieved and take time to reflect on how fabulous it is. Your talent will always be there and will never leave you and when the next project comes along you will give it your best as you always do, and that's all you can do. And by the way I follow your blog primarily to see what you are doing with your styling. Geez didn't expect to be playing the wise old one first thing on a Tuesday morning, maybe a need a cup of t. Anyways, anyways hope that helps
ReplyDeleteStay cool
sleekit x
PPPs I admire your honesty
you are an inspiration like everyone else here has said...even so, everyone is allowed to feel crap. Just because you are successful and perhaps have everything you dreamed of does not rob you of the right to be yourself!
ReplyDeletechin up lovely. i'm sure there are many people out there thinking of you! xx
I completely understand how you feel.
ReplyDeleteHonestly I think it just comes with being a nice, honest, creative person. With this kind of success comes a lot of pressure, and it is not easy to manage.
The best advice I can offer is to remember why you do what you do (because its fun?!?!?), take time to smell the roses, take time for yourself, and don't let the world drag you down.
One step at a time.
Gaby xoxoxoox
PS CONGRATULATIONS ON IT ALL TOO!!!!
Hope you are feeling better by now and also congratulations. I think it's far better to be open about these things so you can get the help and support to deal with it.
ReplyDeleteSorry to read you've just had the down bit of the roller coaster, at least these things go up again too :) And congratulations on all your success!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on your success. The Sportsgirl window looks amazing.
ReplyDeleteI am glad to hear you are feeling better. Stress is ugh!
Fabulous, you deserve all the success in the world. You are truly talented Miss Hayley!
xx
DD
The sportsgirl window looks so great! Looks like you have been doing some amazing things recently, good work.
ReplyDeleteHayley baby! You have done so many amazing things in the past year and have so much to be proud of! I am sure you are tired and your body, mind and soul just needs a little time to recuperate. Your window looks great and as always, so do your styles! Be proud of yourself, take a rest and then get back in the ring!
ReplyDeleteWe love you!!!
XOXO
Don't get caught up in the idea that blogging isn't a job. Blogging is still a relatively new form of media communication that will take a while to be seen as a legitimate profession.
ReplyDeleteI think we're all caught up on the idea that a job involves working for a company of some sort. But that involves working for someone whilst in blogging you work for yourself.
Even if we seek a job in freelance we tend to only understand our jobs role as legitimate as long at that jobs title is widely recognized as a 'job'. e.g. stylist.
you're just a bit ahead of that gang and thats a good thing!
keep up the good work...x
so cool!!!! love the store window congrats!!
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the window - amaze!!
ReplyDeleteNot really a comment but a BIG CYBER HUG
ReplyDeleteGreat job Hayley. That's something to be super proud of. I'm sorry you were feeling off though. I wouldn't worry about the blog vs 'real' job/stylist stuff though, just look at the blog as exposure for what you're really doing, complimentary to your career. I'd not have heard about your work otherwise and I expect a lot of your readers are in the same boat. You're doing great :) I hope you're feeling better.
ReplyDeleterefreshingly honest! a lot of us feel that artist anxiety (or what you call it) - it's different for everyone but i can totally vibe with it. even in something like a relationship: when someone really likes you, you get worried about f'ing it up cause they've got you up on this pedestal...
ReplyDeleteanyway. just know you and you're work are appreciated. congrats!
Hi Hayley, just got your comment on my blog.
ReplyDeleteI have to say I was really saddened to read these lines...
"Disgusting, and PB, as someone who has met you and liked you, it actually disgusts me that you would buy fur. Vintage is ok, but new, sorry but you have lost a friend."
I can remember the day you showed me around a bunch of shops, and in one store you took me into we both were petting this fur vest and you asked me if I wore real fur and I said yes.
Anyways, very glad to see how well you're doing, your work looks amazing! but am sad to hear you're going through a blue patch.
Hope you feel better soon :)
<3 xxx
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletecongrats on everything hayley, your life seems ridiculously sorted right about now
ReplyDeletelove everything you do xx
http://www.myspineisthebassline.blogspot.com/
I'm new to your blog and I want to congratulate you on your fantastic successes. I hope this low time passes for you, and quickly, as you have so much to look forward to.
ReplyDeleteThis is so fab for you!!! I love the window - see my post about you on my blog x
ReplyDeletehttp://tuxedoblackcashmerepink.blogspot.com/
agh, sorry to hear you've had the blues - hopefully they've gone now! i think your career has progressed amazingly since you first started your blog, so the blogging must've helped you not held you back. its certainly brought you to an international audience, like me! being on the other side of the world, i never would've heard of you let alone followed your projects!
ReplyDeletekeep up the good work! xxx
You are a great artist and it sounds like you are suffering such horrible anxiety at the moment.
ReplyDeleteHope you are feeling better soon because you deserve it. xxx
thank you for the photo of the woman with short hair it gave me the courage to lop off my long locks into a short chop that feels more like me
ReplyDeleteThank You